How to Prepare a Muffin

1. Bake your own muffins or buy a Chocolate chip Muffin making sure it has a large quantity of chocolate chips on top. (or get someone else to go out early in the morning to buy one for you.)
2. Place in the microwave and heat on full heat until it is hot to touch on the sides, and the chocolate chips on top are just beginning to melt. (NOT when they have melted!) This should take about 20-30 seconds, but check on your muffin regularly.
3. While cooking get a plate out of the cupboard, a knife out of the draw and margarine (This is optional) out of the fridge and don't forget to check on the muffin. Whatever you do don't sit down with a newspaper or magazine, because you are bound to have an overcooked muffin by the end.
4. When it is ready, take the muffin out of the microwave and put it on the plate. Place some margarine on the side of the plate and remove the muffin from its case
5. Cut the muffin in half across the centre and place the top half down so that the chocolate chips are facing up. (Do not cut the muffin open then put the margarine on the plate because then you get told off for putting muffin crumbs in the margarine pot.)
6. Eat the bottom half of the chocolate muffin first by cutting off a piece and spreading a small amount of margarine on it. Then repeat.
7. After that eat the top half of the muffin in the same way because by then the heat will have risen through it any fully melted the chocolate chips.
8. After finishing the muffin wash your hands because believe me you will need to.
9. Get a cloth and wipe down the table where you made a huge mess eating the muffin.
10. Feel very fat

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