101 Uses of a Chocolate Muffin

There are many uses for a chocolate muffin. Here are a few of them. If you have any more that aren't on this list then please send them to me with a justified reason why they should. The options for uses of a chocolate muffin are limitless and just small alterations to the recipe, shape or size of the muffin will enable you to use it for just about anything. Always make sure that you are carrying a supply of chocolate muffins with you because you never know when one might come in handy.

  1. Melt the Chocolate chips on top of the muffin and smear them on your face instead of camouflage paint when going out to the woods or jungle. It is much easier to take off and you can lick bits off when you feel a bit peckish.
  2. Stuff a chocolate muffin in each ear and let the special qualities of the muffin reduce any loud noises around you.
  3. Place a chocolate muffin in front of a open door as a door stop but make sure it is laden down with extra chocolate chips.
  4. Take a collection of muffins with you on picnic to sit on as little stools instead of sitting on the grass.
  5. Hang four or five muffins from the ceiling using wire or thread to act as a hanging mobile.
  6. Place several muffins on top of each other and make them into table legs by placing a flat surface on top of them.
  7. Position a row of muffins at about a steps length away from each other over a river or swamp to use as stepping stones to get you across.
  8. If you are ever sat at a wobbly table with one leg shorter than all the others then instead of using the normal matchbox, place a chocolate muffin under the leg to make the table flat again.
  9. Hang several muffins from a piece of metal in a circular shape and hang them outside as wind chimes/muffins.
  10. Place muffins in a blender with other things that you think might go well with them and make you very own concoction of chocolate muffin juice and other yummy stuff.
  11. Freeze the muffins and place a piece of string through them to play "muffins" with them all year round so you no longer need to wait till the conker season.
  12. Partially melt the chocolate and mould it into figures, animals or other shapes and have a competition with others to guess what it is that you have made.
  13. When your football freezes instead of buying a new one, use a muffin instead but make sure that it is hard enough and won't fall apart
  14. When you go to a pebbly beach instead of being upset because there is no sand to build sand castles with, use pieces of muffins instead to build your very own six story luxury mansion
  15. To save that little bit of extra money, instead of filling your car up with petrol fill it up with chocolate muffins to make the car go better and pollute the environment less.
  16. On top and bottom of the banisters on the stairs instead of placing the wooden newels on them, place a chocolate muffin on each one.
  17. Create your very own muffin tree so if you were ever stuck on a desert island you could plant your muffin and the quick growing muffin tree would make sure you never went hungry.
  18. Place a lampshade on top of a muffin to create your very own muffin lamp stand.
  19. Smear chocolate muffin all over you when you are out in the sun to stop yourself being sunburnt.
  20. Instead of using bullets or artillery shells in tanks, artillery or guns, load them up with chocolate muffins. Fire them at the enemy because not only this a much more humane method of fighting, but then you can distract the enemy who then begin to eat the muffins and you can then launch your second attack.

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